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What to Say to Your Partner When You Experience Erection Problems

Woman looking down disappointed with man in the background with his hand on his forehead looking upset.

A lack of candor about your erection problems can lead your partner to believe she’s no longer sexually appealing to you.

Honesty is the best policy. And that’s particularly true when it comes to erection problems in the bedroom. Obviously, such problems are impossible to hide, so it makes sense to discuss the matter as frankly as possible with your partner. Together, you can decide on what steps might be necessary to resolve the problem.

Rare indeed is the man who doesn’t occasionally find it difficult, if not impossible, to get an erection when the moment is right for sexual activity. If it’s just that you’ve had a bit too much to drink or are feeling the stress of an impending problem in the workplace, man up and say so. Don’t let your partner jump to the conclusion that your interest in her is waning. And once you’ve burned off the excess alcohol in your system or resolved your problems at work, you’re likely to find that the erection problem has passed and you’re good to go again.

What If the Problem Is Chronic?

If, however, you detect a continuing problem getting — and keeping — an erection suitable for sexual intercourse, you should share your concerns with your partner. In almost all cases, help can be found, and having her as your ally in the search for a solution usually means the problem can be resolved even more expeditiously than if you were doing it on your own.

In an article posted at MensHealth.com, writer Meagan Drillinger offers a female perspective on how men should handle erection fails, whether they are just a sometime thing or the beginning of a more serious problem.

First and foremost, says Drillinger, men who find that they cannot rise to the occasion should reassure their partners that the erection problem has nothing to do with them. “So if you’re having sex with us and then all of a sudden you’re not, we might become a little self-conscious. But the first thing you can do is assure us that you are, in fact, attracted to us. . . .”

Don’t Let Embarrassment Overwhelm You

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Once you’ve assured your partner that your erectile failure has nothing to do with her, it’s important that you try to rid yourself of any embarrassment or guilt you may be feeling, Drillinger writes. “Getting overly depressed about it, apologizing excessively, or, even worse, stopping sexy time altogether, are some of the worst things you can do.”

Sexual intercourse is only one form of intimacy and while your erection problems might make that temporarily impossible, you can still use other parts of your body to excite your partner and hopefully help her to reach orgasm. And who knows, she writes, “you might find yourself getting re-aroused in the process.”

Seek Whatever Help You Need

If your erectile problems should prove to be more chronic in nature, says Drillinger, don’t hesitate to seek whatever professional medical or psychiatric counseling is needed to treat the problem. And whatever course of action you decide to pursue, you should share that information with your partner so that the two of you approach the problem as a team. Having the support of your partner during this process can be extremely helpful.

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About Don Amerman

Don Amerman has spent more than three decades in the business of writing and editing. During the last 15 years, his focus has been on freelance writing. For almost all of his writing, He has done all of his own research, both online and off, including telephone and face-to-face interviews where possible. Don Amerman on Google+